How things are going for us

I don't usually talk on here about our financial problems because I feel like that is me and Chris' business but right now I feel like this is all that I got and I don't know who else to turn to and we are running out of ideas. Sometimes I hate adulting and just want to be a kid sometimes, because it's hard I am not going to lie and right now me and Chris are stuck. Whenever you are backed up in bills and keep pushing bills back and you keep getting overdrawn and keep getting overdrawn than you had a hard time getting back on track. Last payday was a good payday and not a so good payday. We were already overdrawn in our account but we knew that bills had to be paid. I know that we had to play catch up but for what price? It made us even more overdrawn to the point that we aren't going to be able to pay rent or all the other bills that we need to this coming payday. Me and Chris are always thinking about our kids and others and even though we didn't have the money last payday we bought each of the kids new sandles and father's day gifts. We knew that we were going to be overdrawn but we had to do what we had to do. Right now on top of bills that need to get paid I need new clothes and so does Chris. We don't even have the money to do that. I haven't even received my mother's day gift. I know I am probably just complaining on here but we have no one else to turn to and have racked our brains over and over again and we just don't know how we are going to survive this payday and me and Chris are scared. I think he is more scared than I am. I am just taking as it comes and taking it day by day and that is all that we can do. I don't even know how we got in this mess. It's weird because things were so good in March when we all went to Vegas; because we could afford it at the time and now things are a lot different than 3 months ago and it just blows my mind. Why I am writing all of this down because just in case someone has an idea or can help us in anyway. I hate to ask for help; I usually never ask for help. Usually me and Chris do things and handle things on our own but now I think it's time to ask for help. And sometimes asking for help isn't a bad thing. Sometimes you need to do it.

Sienna turns 5!!

This sweet girl turned 5 today!! She is such a girly girl and loves school. She is definitely my social butterfly because she has so many friends. She is getting into boys already. There is this one boy Easton that has her heart. She is such a great big sister to her baby sister; she loves having a baby sister. She thinks her middle name is monkey butt because her daddy calls her monkey butt. She likes the nickname monkey butt. She is for sure a princess and she knows it. She is always going to hold a special place in my heart because she is my first girl! We love you Sienna Jeanne and Happy birthday!!

This little girl spent her birthday at boondocks. It's always a tradition to go to boondocks for each of the kids birthdays. They always have fun here. She got a crown, and a bracelet. Rocky was wondering why he didn't get either one on his birthday and I had to tell him that he is too old because it said for kids 8 years and younger. He is just getting so big! Brody is getting too big as well because when we were on the horses farris wheel Brody weighted too much because it wouldn't go lol and then we went to the play area and he is too tall for that as well. I just told the boys that they are just getting too big for these things which is sad but it what it is. If I had it my way my kids would never grow up because it is a trap lol.

Rocky and Daisy's checkups

Since Rocky's Jr. High checkup and Daisy's 18 month checkup was around the same time we just decided to kill two birds with one stone and get them done and out of the way the same day. They are both doing good. They both got one shot. They wanted to give Rocky the Meningoccal shot but me and Chris refused to have him have it because I have heard nothing but bad things about it. I wasn't going to have that nasty stuff inserted into Rocky or any of my kids. I had to sign a release form saying I wasn't going to give my child this because it is required in Jr. High. I was fine with signing whatever just as long as he doesn't get it. Daisy doesn't need anymore shots until she goes to Kindergarten or Preschool whatever comes first. Rocky is 4'9 already! So tall. And in the 29% for his height. His weight is 68.2 in the 6% which I am not surprised because he is just like his daddy. Tall and skinny. Rocky got a eye exam and his eyes are perfectly fine. I updated Dr. Nye about his allergist test. And everything is going good with him. Daisy looks good but he is concerned about her not fully walking yet. He would like children to be walking around 15-16 months so he wants her to go to physical therapy. He said she might not need it because she is progressing but it doesn't hurt to get a second opinion. I don't know how I feel about this. In a way I feel like it's my fault that she isn't fully walking on her own yet. Daisy is 18 lbs and 14.5 oz in the 6%. And her height is 30.5 in the 10%. She still has a big head. Maybe that is why she is so smart. She has always had a big head since she has been born.

Update on big changes!

When I posted the blog post about big changes I never thought what big changes were going to come in place. So many things has happened to us this year already. Good and bad things. As everyone knows Chris got fired from Savers on Friday the 13th in January and then right after that he started dealing with a bacteria infection that landed him in the hospital for a week. I thank the Lord everyday that he is healthy and the infection is 100% gone. He is definitely not taking life for granted anymore. He is trying to take better care of himself so he stays healthy. I am so proud of this man! He went right back to work at a new job called Warner Fleet Services and he loves it. I admit I love the new job as well. He works Monday thru Friday with nights and weekends off perfect for our family. It doesn't pay as much as Savers did but we are ok with that. We are making it. That is why I wanted to find a new job that gave me more hours and more pay so I could help with the difference. Not only that but I was supposedly suppose to get another raise from Motherhood but I yet have seen it. I am really frustrated about it. Not only that I have noticed that every little thing that my manager is doing is driving me up the wall. Like for instant she told me to rearrange some capris and put them on hangers and hang them and then put certain ones on the table. So I did what she told me to do and then the next day she changed it up. Don't tell me to do something and then change it to something totally different. I haven't seen her all last week because she has been helping out at the Gateway store. At first she was helping out at Park City until they can get that store running and she even hired a few ladies for that store like is it her job to do that? No. They have a store manager there. And then she recently put a table right next to the cashwrap and put some things on there like snacks and some flowers that I am not kidding you smell like pee. I hate the fact that I have to walk around the table to get behind the cashwrap. I think once these small things are irritating you than it's time to go. And since I haven't seen her all last week I don't know if she saw my two weeks notice so I text her today and she was starting to make me feel bad for leaving. I hate when people make me feel guilty for my choices. She was saying things like "Could I of done anything to make you stay" I am like really. I am just over it all! I found a new job at Conoco Gas Station on Antelope in Layton. I am so so excited to start! I am so ready for a new change. I am so ready to leave Motherhood. I am so ready to get more hours and more pay and not to work in clothing anymore. I think it's really neat that both me and Chris got a new job this year. It was for the best for both of us. I have no fear that I will love and enjoy this job. Once I always wanted to work at a gas station and two I know that I will do great at it! So changes here we come! I can't wait for April 30th to get here to start my new job.

What I have decided

This vacation made me think about a lot of things. While I was on vacation my store manager kept texting everyone in a group text about the schedule and things like that. I am so over it by this time. My resume looks really sad right now and I am trying to fix that. Especially since two of the places I have worked at are no longer around and another one goes by a different name. I think I lost my passion for my job. When I first started Motherhood in 2013 I was so excited to be working with great people and especially one of my good friends that I have known a long time ago. When everyone was leaving it was slowly but surely changing. And then leaving Motherhood and coming back kinda drained me. I am tired of the other stores not being fully staffed and relying on our girls to cover shifts. I don't think it's worth it in my opinion to only get 50 dollars for one trip to a different store. I think when I came back under a different position and then when Macy's closed really killed my spirits. I don't really care anymore. Don't get me wrong I am glad that Chris found a job that he loves that is perfect for our family but I feel like he is moving on and I am just stuck. It hurts me that he succeeding and I am not. I have been dealing with this feeling for a while now. Me and Chris decided that if there comes an opportunity to move to St. George we would take it. We always wanted to move there since we first got together. We just fell in love with the town. So now that I will have a set schedule I think it will be easier for me to find a job. I hope so. But this time I am going to do it differently. I am going to stay at Motherhood and deal with it until I find a new job. I hope I find something soon. I am just scared to leave a place where I am so comfortable with and everything. But I can't be scared anymore. I have to venture out. I have to try something new and get out of my comfort zone. Wish me luck! I just need to move on!! 

What's been going on with Rocky

For a few years now we have noticed that Rocky has been getting sick off of pizza. He is fine the next day but for some reason he would get sick more often than any other child. At first we didn't know exactly it was but we narrowed it down and noticed it with just pizza. We don't know if it is the sauce or what. I know for the past few years he would eat spaghetti without the sauce, sloppy joes without the sauce mixed into the meat. But he also won't drink plain milk and only chocolate milk in the carton. He also will only eat specific cheeses and doesn't like melted cheese. We thought he was just strange but we knew that something was going on. We don't know exactly what ingredient it is but something is irrating him. We have controled it for the most part by not giving him pizza or giving him pizza without the sauce and that has seemed to helped but we are tired of guessing what it is. So tomorrow we have an appointment with the allergist to narrow down what it is. I hope we find out what it is so we can solve the problem. I hate that he was sick so much and we didn't know why. It makes me feel helpless as a parent when I can't help him when it's my job to. I hope Chris is out of the hospital today so he can go with us. I will keep everyone updated about Rocky. I hope we figured out what is going on. Rocky is excited but also nervous to find out but he also wants answers as well. He is just as frusterated as we are.

Big changes!!

I have been having a hard time lately with changes. Especially since they have been happening one after another. I really enjoyed being a MSC (motherhood sales consultation) at Macy's. I loved being my own boss and being able to go in whenever it was convenient for me. I felt like I had the best of both worlds. I could be my own boss at Macy's and I can help my store manager upstairs if she needed me. I also loved the co workers and everyone knew who I was there. When Macy's announced that they were closing I felt lost; and I still feel like I am lost. I feel like I am just floating. The one thing I was concerned about was where was I going to go. Alisha my store manager already decided my fate. She was like no she is coming back to me. I am not going to lose her. Which was awesome because it showed that she really valued me as an employee but now I feel like I am just a convenience to her and I hate that feeling. What you guys don't know is she hired a new lady a couple of weeks before Macy's announced that they were closing. Alisha told me even though she hired this new employee they can still squeeze me in which I don't like. I feel like that I am only there when someone needs a day off or a break. Don't get me wrong I do appreciate everything that Alisha has done for me. She has done a lot for me and continues to do a lot for me and I will be forever grateful for her. She even would work around Chris' schedule when he had a job and that was very nice of her to do. I feel very comfortable with her. I would just like to have my own schedule and feel like I belong somewhere and right now I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I know it sounds silly. I am just having a hard time adjusting to this new change. Maybe it will change once time goes on. I think that is why I volunteered to work in Park City because I feel like that is the only way that I am going to get hours is at other stores.
    Chris had an interview today at a place called Warner Fleet Services. They are a call center for truck drivers and do inbound calls. He said that the interview went really well and he thinks he got the job. He thinks it would be perfect for our family. Even though it's in West Valley City I am not really concerned about what city a job is at at this point. As long as it's perfect for our family. This job would be Monday thru Friday either 7am to 4pm or 8am to 5pm with weekends off is what he wants. He is really excited to move forward if they decide to have him hired. I am thinking if he gets this job to try to find a new job or just tell her I can only work nights. I am trying to stay positive and take it a day at a time. I hope these changes are for the best and we know what we want to do and we are happy about it. And of course we will keep all you guys updated!