How I have been feeling lately

I have been feeling depressed lately and feel like I am stuck in life. It feels like everyone's else life is moving forward and moving on and I am just stuck. I am not moving forward and I am not moving back. I feel like the world is moving and I am just standing still. Everyone else is having babies and I am done having babies or moving into a new place and I am just staying in the same place. Or everyone else are going on vacations and I am doing nothing because I don't have the money. Chris thinks I am reading way into it but that is how I feel. I feel like I let my family down on many levels. I applied at so many jobs and haven't heard back from any of them. I am pretty sure because it's of my crazy availability but I don't want to have to count on anyone to watch my kids. I am getting to the point where I don't want to apply anywhere else. The other day I was at Family Dollar and they had that flyer back on their door saying they are hiring again which hurt and was a slap in the face because I remember I saw the flyer before and that is why I applied in the first place and then they took it down so I thought they found someone but apparently they didn't. So I am pretty sure I didn't match their qualifications. And then today I just applied at Maverik finally so I don't know how that is going to go. I tried to apply at Smith's Marketplace the new one that is opening in West Point but the only positions they are hiring now is for the jewelry place inside it. Yeah I don't qualify for that for sure so I didn't even bother. I think I waited too long to apply there. I think because I really didn't want to work there. But I guess it gets to a point where you have to stop being picky but I don't want to get a job that I really didn't want and be miserable. I just hope things change soon for me because I don't know how much longer I can feel this way. I just hope I can shake it off and just be grateful for what I have. I am trying. I just don't feel like I am contributing much to my family. I like helping out my family financially because I feel like I am doing something useful. I know it's too hard to explain. Maybe I need to see that Medium for me to see what's in the cards for me because I am lost and don't know where to go from here. I don't know what to do to move forward and I hope I find out soon.