Just thoughts

Since it's Easter today I just got a lot of thoughts going through my head and also since I get in trouble for posting certain things on Facebook I decided to vent on here. And since I can because it's my own blog I got a lot to say. I know I shouldn't be worrying about this stuff but I am because they are family and I love them. It seems like a lot of family on Chris' side doesn't want anything to do with me and it hurts, just because I speak my mind and tell the truth. I don't think there is nothing wrong with speaking your mind and being truthful. It's sad when some of the family doesn't want to add me on Facebook and that hurts, and I don't know what to do about it. Like I said I shouldn't be worrying about it but I am. If I don't write this all down I might explode. If any of the family reads this because explain to me what I am doing wrong. The only reason why I go on Facebook in the first place is to connect with family and friends to show them what I am doing, how I am feeling and to see how they are doing. I feel like I get left out on a lot of things because I am not friends with certain family on Facebook. It's like I am the last person to know. Or I don't get invited to certain things because no one wants me there. Well I got news for you guys. I am family and I always will be! I always ask Chris why he wants to be with me when most of his family wants nothing to do with me. It's hard not to have this going in my head and maybe it is all in my head but that is how I feel. Please show me something different and maybe I won't feel this way. If there is anything I did then I am sorry. I know sorry doesn't solve everything but I hope for this it does.
       Another thing I am tired of waiting for things to happen. Chris was "suppose" to get promoted a while ago and doesn't seem like it's going to happen anytime soon. One of his supervisors is on maternity leave and there is only him and another supervisor so they kinda need him unless they hire someone new. We were going to wait to get pre approved for a house loan once he gets promoted but I don't know when that is going to happen so I just got to make things happen. I know changes are coming but they are taking a long time to get here. We grew out of this small two bedroom apartment a long time ago, it's time to move on to something bigger especially if we want to have another child. We had our vow renewal on St. Patrick Day and that was a start of changes but where are the changes? Some days I don't know what to do with myself. I keep telling myself I need to concentrate on my small family and not worry about the other family members but it's kinda hard when I am a loving person; well I try to be and I am thankful for everything that everyone does in the family and maybe I just have a weird way of showing it but I love all my friends and family and I just feel like no one wants nothing to do with me. :( I don't know how to shake this feeling.