Happy 8th birthday to Brody!

Brody turned 8!

My little boy turned 8! He is starting to like the game Five nights at Freddy's which I don't get. He is starting to like pizza a lot. He likes bad guys in movies. Like the creature from the black Lagoon. His best friend is Zeke that lives next door and they like to ride scooters together so I am glad that he got a scooter for his birthday. He loves his cat Mack. He makes us laugh all the time. 

The dart center for the big kids

The Dartcity for the little kids

We had it at Dartside. And it seemed like everyone enjoyed it. Everyone had fun! I think he chose the perfect place to have his party. 

A Mario theme. An awesome cake from Bowman's

I can't believe he is 8! I am glad that his friend came to his party. Thank you to everyone that came. Nana and Papa, Nana Heckert, Aunt Trena and family, Aunt Johanna and her family, Aunt Jordan and her family, Uncle Justin and of course us. 

Brenda the Medium

Well Brenda did it once again. Every time I leave a reading with her I always feel enlightened and she is great and what she does. She really has a gift. She no longer does readings at The Hidden Sage. She does it at her house in Farr West now. She has a gorgeous house with two big dogs and a bunch of angels decorations which I loved. This time I had a reading for me. She asked me if I do something with my hands and I say yeah I cross stitched and she brought up the thing that I am making Rocky and said that I can do it and when it's all done that he will really appreciate it. She also mentioned my girls and how Sienna is close and like her daddy and how Daisy is close to me and like me. She also mentioned my job how the Macy's employees value me and how they are very grateful that I am there. Which makes sense because that department didn't get a lot of love until I got there. She also said that she can see me moving up the company and that the job I have now is perfect because I am a full time mom and a really great mom and that the job gives me the opportunity to still be great mom. She asked about Chris and asked if we met on a blind date in which if you want to technically yeah we did. And also how me and him our soul mates which got me crying because everything she was saying was so true. She also said that I have come full circle and that I am very leveled and at peace with my life which is true. She also said that in February around our anniversary there is going to be a big celebration where we are going be all fancy for. She also said that we are all going to go to a retreat kinda a vacation; she said that it's long overdue which I agree. And that all these celebrations is a long time waiting and that we both worked hard to get to this point.
     The one thing that left goosebumps for both me and her was her comparison to my recent dream and my mom's role right now. Even before she knew about my dream she said that my mom is kinda the teacher or the leader to bring her family back together like the peacemaker and that is what it kinda felt like her role was in my dream. Crazy! I feel like we all have a connection in life somehow. I feel very connected to Brenda and feel very comfortable with her. She has a gift!

Connections

I had a weird dream last night and I think there is a connection between that and the recent events that have been happening in my life. When my grandma and my grandpa and my aunt passed away on my mom's side that is when everything fell apart for my mom. My grandma and grandpa had a will and left my Uncle Curtis (my mom's brother) in charge of it and he basically  disinherited my mom. So basically we don't exist anymore to them which sucks. I wasn't really closed with my mom's family but we were civil to each other and spent time together and once everyone passed away we all fell apart from of each other.
     My dream last night was really weird. Sienna last night had a bad dream. The boys have been wanting this game called Five nights at Freddy's which is a kinda scary game and we decided to download it onto Rocky's Ipad but he had to give up his allowance for that payday which he was fine with. Sienna was watching them play it which I guess was big mistake. So she had a hard time going back to sleep after the bad dream so I was already tired and sleep deprived didn't also help either. I dreamt that we lived in this big house and no one was letting me sleep. In my dream Brody woke up and wasn't feeling well so I was putting his bed together downstairs and for some reason there was a lot of random people in my house. It looked like we were showing it like trying to sale it. And I was getting frustrated and annoyed because I wanted to go back to bed and I couldn't because I had all these people in my house. Then I went back upstairs and ran into my old young woman leader's husband from many years ago and he got me to calm down. And then I walked into this other room and my mom was sitting there with all of her siblings. Which one of them is dead and my aunt Renee (deceased) comes up to me and gives me a hug and tells me how much I have grown and I am just crying in the dream and kept telling her that I missed her. It was weird. I truly believe mediums can portray your loves ones that have passed on. But it really felt like I was hugging her and I really felt her spirit in my dream. It looked like my mom was conducting a meeting in my dream and it was like a intervention to me. But I don't know why I need the intervention when I am the one that wants everyone to get along and make peace.
        It kinda sucks when you want to interact with your family which is your blood and which you love dearly but you can't. The other day I ran into my Aunt Denise my Uncle Curtis' wife and daughter Jessi at Walmart. And I have to say it was so awkward because I couldn't say anything to them and that hurts. My natural instinct wanted to hug them and say hi and ask how they are doing but I can't. But that isn't the first time I ran into them. I wonder why I keep running into them and what does all this mean. I feel like there is a connection between running into them recently and my dream. Maybe it means that they are soon going to come around and welcome us back into their lives. I am the type of person that we are always going to be family regardless of our differences or how many times we fight. We love each other and at the end of the day that is all that matters. I still love my family with all my heart. All of my sides! And I hope at the end of the day they love me too.
     I also thought it was strange that once I woke up in the morning I had a text message from my mom asking me if  I was still willing to take her to see Brenda from The Hidden Sage when in fact I had this dream and she never knew. Me and my mom always had that connection. I believe me and Chris have that connection as well. I always knew from the beginning that me and Chris were suppose to be together. We can always read each other's mind which is creepy but annoying and awesome at the same time. I can say something even before he says it when he is thinking the exact same thing and vice versus. I know this is long but this is something that I want to get out there and remember and let my friends and family know how much they mean to me. And plus I always have strange dreams and I am pretty sure that I will always remember this one.
    I will let everyone know how it goes with Brenda next week and see what she says about all of this!

Daisy's 1st birthday!!

I can't believe my baby is one. She is the light of our lives!!

This little girl is so much fun! You can tell that she is the last child because she for sure lets her present be known. She loves food! Every time I go to the store she tries to lean into the cart screaming for food. She is so loud with everything. She knows how to say ball, mommy, daddy, bubba, kitty, dog. She is so smart for her age but she does things on her own time. She is off the bottle. All my kids were easy to get off the bottle. She loves her sippy cup and her elly (elephant binky) That is why we had an elephant theme party. I love how we have our birthdays so close to each other and I  love how she looks like me. She is the perfect fit to our completed family. She is so loved by everyone that meets her with those chunky cheeks and that beautiful smile. You just want to squeeze her some days because she is just so darn cute. We love her!

We first went to the pumpkin patch with the whole family for our birthdays. It's a tradition every year to go! It was nice to have everyone there!!

We had the birthday party at the party room at the theaters at the Newgate mall.. Great choice! Arcades near by for the kids and at a reasonable price-25 dollars. Can't beat that! Very successful party!!

I love her cakes! Bowman's in Kaysville always does a great job! And the smash cake was free! I was very happy with it. So adorable cakes!!

Her loot!!

Thank you to everyone for the wonderful time yesterday! Daisy and I loved our gifts! Thanks to Taylor and Shane, Trena, Shane, and Aaron, Nana and Papa, Johanna and her family, Jordan and her family, New papa, Nana Heckert, Keishla, Tiff and Kyeson and Uncle Justin and of course Mommy and Daddy and bubbas and Sienna. We love you all!!

Love story time!

Running into my ex yesterday made me reflect on me and Chris' love story and also made me reflect on all my ex's. I dated a lot of creeps before I met Chris. By the time I met Chris I was about to give up on love and stop looking. It was met to be from the beginning. We started dating December 15th 2002. A cool fact about this date was it was Brody's original due date but different year of course and if that doesn't tell you that it was meant to be than I don't know what would lol. He was originally going after my friend Teala. Teala wasn't interest in him and thought that he would be a perfect match with me. I told her that I wasn't ready to date yet and I wasn't interest and she said that she would give him my number anyways. I wasn't too happy about that. The first time he called me we talked on the phone for hours and we found a lot of things in common. It was like we have known each other our whole lives. That conversation changed everything. It was like everything came naturally. He was working at Walmart at the time and I remember I would try anything and anyway to see him at his work. We found out that we liked the same kind of music and before we even started dating he surprised me with a mixed CD that he made. And I still have that CD to this day. I thought that was real sweet of him. I didn't want to get too close to him but it was like we were drawn to each other. We never wanted to be apart. I felt comfortable telling him about my past relationships and he felt the same way. I had nothing to hide with him. He said that it was love at first sight with him and I don't know if it was that way with me; it's hard to say. I think I was more reserved because I didn't want to get my heart broken again because trust me it has millions of times. I will always remember the day that I met his family. I sat right next to his dad and everyone was shocked and they all looked at me like I had three heads or something. I was like what I am just being friendly and they go on to tell me that everyone is afraid of his father and I had to laugh because looking at his dad you wouldn't think he was a scary person. And from that day forward me and his dad has always had that special bond;  he is like a real father to me. His mom mentioned to Chris that I was going to be the woman that he married because if anyone can sit by his dad the first time meeting him than she is a keeper haha! I also will remember the exact day that I realize that I didn't want to live without him. It was the day before high school graduation and I was hanging out with him and I had a really bad headache to the point that it was making me sick and he took me home that day and helped me into my house, ran my bath, helped me into the bath and waited until I was done taking a bath and getting dressed and helped me into bed. I thought if he was going to take care of me like this than he was going to take care of me the rest of my life. He is my soul mate! We even think the same thing before one of us even says it. People always say we are two peas in the pod and I truly believe that. He is my better half and we were always meant to be! When I told my mom that I ran into my ex Dan she told me that he was so creepy and I agree lol. She also said that I got lucky with Chris and I truly believe that. God sent him to me!! I wasn't looking for love but it came to me. She also told me that she hopes I tell Chris just how blessed that I am everyday and I am. I truly am!

More thoughts

I decided that I don't love my job at NY and Company and I am trying to find a way out. I don't think it's going to be the same once my ASM leaves (the one that hired me). I think it's already changing because they are already messing around with my schedule which I don't like. Another thing I don't like is that everyday they are changing promos and changing signs and to me that is annoying because it is a bigger store and I remember at Motherhood we only changed the promos once a week or even every two weeks. I went into Motherhood yesterday to ask my old manager a question because I am still getting insurance information in the mail from Motherhood and I just think that is weird since I haven't been with the company since February well she goes on to tell me that Motherhood is looking for a MSC (someone that does floorset) at the Macy's in Layton Hills Mall. They used to have more than one lease location and now they only have Macy's. And every since she told me about it last night I couldn't stop thinking about it. I am the type of person that believe that everything happens for a reason and that was a reason why I went in there. She was telling me about it and I feel like this would be a perfect position for me. I make my own hours and it's 3 days a week/3 hours a day and I get paid more than what I am getting paid now. I can't beat that. I am really considering it. I was kinda considering the position when I was working for the company because it pays more but they just had way too many locations to go to that I think it would of been kind overwhelming. I think I have some thinking to do. I really don't want to go back to the company but I really don't want to stay with NY and Company.

Second thoughts

I know that I just started my job at NY and Company but I am having second thoughts about it. I feel like I settled for the first job that offered me a position. I want a change of careers; I am kinda sick and tired of working with clothing. I was thinking of working at a restaurant. I am also scared that I am not going to love another job like I loved Motherhood. It's kinda hard to get away from it when I am just right across from Motherhood and that I see my old manager all the time. I miss working with Jennifer, Mary and Dixie. It's not the same without them. Not only that a lot of my associates at NY and Company are planning on leaving. The lady that originally hired me is leaving in two weeks because her lease is up at Layton Meadows and she can't afford it anymore so she is moving in with her mom in Ogden and she doesn't have a car to get to work. It sucks because since the manager is leaving I don't know if they are going to work with my availability because she is the one that does the schedule so I am scared about that.  That is another thing that drives me nuts is I have to drive the managers to the bank to drop off the deposit in the morning which I don't think it's fair. I know that they need a witness when they drop off the deposit but I don't want them to relie on me to drive them. They don't have a car so that is why I have to drive them. And another associate is leaving; the one that got hire on with me because she is allergic to jeans and can't handle the clothing at our store. The clothing is another thing that drives me nuts. I have to wear their clothing to work. Sometimes I don't have the cash to buy my whole wardrobe from NY and Company. I have been having these thoughts for a while. Does everyone think I am not giving it a chance and jumping to too many conclusions? I admit I was excited at first to get a job and that someone was willing to give me a opportunity and work around my availability but I think that excitement has worn off. I was thinking of staying there until I find a new job but I really hate job hunting again. I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to get rid of these feelings.