The Hidden Sage part 2

I went with my mom again and I guess I better let her go by herself next time because she mostly read me this time. I am always amazed with Brenda the medium. There was this picture on my wall that my aunt Renee gave me (she is now deceased). I have had it for over 10 years and I was rearranging pictures on my wall the other day and I just got this feeling to get rid of it. And that it didn't fit in my life anymore. And that is exactly what she said. It's like she took the words right out of my mouth and she wasn't even there when I was telling my mom about it. She told me that Aunt Renee told her that it's time for me to move on and that it doesn't fit in my life anymore. It was kinda creepy that she told me that exact thing. She also told me that I am looking to bigger and better things and that is why it's time to move on. She also said that I can channel people as well which makes sense why all these spirits come to me. I think it's because I am so open minded and that I am always supporting people and encouraging people and I am always there for others. She also said since I channel people that me and my mom needs to help each other through the process which makes sense because me and my mom are so close and I believe in her when at some times she doesn't even believe in herself. I believe that I am here to help her and vice versa. Brenda also said that I need to change my diet which I have been thinking about doing for a while. Maybe I will feel a lot better about myself and move on to bigger and better things with a great diet and exercising. She is always friendly and so good at what she does.

How I have been feeling lately

I have been feeling depressed lately and feel like I am stuck in life. It feels like everyone's else life is moving forward and moving on and I am just stuck. I am not moving forward and I am not moving back. I feel like the world is moving and I am just standing still. Everyone else is having babies and I am done having babies or moving into a new place and I am just staying in the same place. Or everyone else are going on vacations and I am doing nothing because I don't have the money. Chris thinks I am reading way into it but that is how I feel. I feel like I let my family down on many levels. I applied at so many jobs and haven't heard back from any of them. I am pretty sure because it's of my crazy availability but I don't want to have to count on anyone to watch my kids. I am getting to the point where I don't want to apply anywhere else. The other day I was at Family Dollar and they had that flyer back on their door saying they are hiring again which hurt and was a slap in the face because I remember I saw the flyer before and that is why I applied in the first place and then they took it down so I thought they found someone but apparently they didn't. So I am pretty sure I didn't match their qualifications. And then today I just applied at Maverik finally so I don't know how that is going to go. I tried to apply at Smith's Marketplace the new one that is opening in West Point but the only positions they are hiring now is for the jewelry place inside it. Yeah I don't qualify for that for sure so I didn't even bother. I think I waited too long to apply there. I think because I really didn't want to work there. But I guess it gets to a point where you have to stop being picky but I don't want to get a job that I really didn't want and be miserable. I just hope things change soon for me because I don't know how much longer I can feel this way. I just hope I can shake it off and just be grateful for what I have. I am trying. I just don't feel like I am contributing much to my family. I like helping out my family financially because I feel like I am doing something useful. I know it's too hard to explain. Maybe I need to see that Medium for me to see what's in the cards for me because I am lost and don't know where to go from here. I don't know what to do to move forward and I hope I find out soon.